It’s a known fact that our relationships with ourselves are usually the closest relationships we have. We know all about our past, our traumas, our life lessons, and our preferences. But even still we can sometimes feel like a stranger to our self. We may not always understand why we take the roads we take or why we impulsively make a decision when we’re generally thoughtful or cautious. Sometimes you look up and years have gone by and you don’t quite know how you’ve gotten to where you’re at in life currently.
It’s in these moments of confusion about where we’re at and what we’re doing in our lives that we can find ourselves being most unkind to ourselves. Being negative and excessively judgmental concerning who we are and what we’ve done. But there’s a world of good advice available to you to change this. Where you are a delight to yourself. Where you understand your life path and you’re content with where you are and excited about where you’re going.
Do you want to know yourself? Fully, completely, and without fear of what you’ll find? Are you interested in loving yourself without reservation, even on your worst days? Read on…
Blast Away Negative Thoughts
This comes right out of cognitive behavioral therapy and it works! Challenge the thoughts that you’re incompetent, unlovable, anxious, or dozens of other things you tell yourself that are negative in anyway. I know when I’ve received this advice, I’ve always thought, “Sure! But what if the thoughts are accurate?” Maybe you do have heart palpitations. Maybe you’re not as good as you want to be at your job.
However, what I’ve learned is that you still need to challenge these assessments. Because guess what? If you keep saying them, they’ll stay true for you. It’s far better to think these negative states of being you’re assigning to yourself as transient. They won’t last forever. With more practice you’ll get better at your job. With more awareness and confidence, you’ll be less anxious. So challenge those negative thoughts. Say things like, “I’ve got this!” “I am capable of improvement.” “I am enough.”
Spend Time Doing Better
Let’s be honest, it’s kind of hard to summon up the motivation to make major changes in your life like looking for another job with better rewards, ending a toxic relationship, taking charge of your health, wellness, and fitness, etc. It’s so hard because we’re human! We are literally wired to put in as little effort as possible each day because your body is preparing for famine and catastrophe, which nowadays usually doesn’t come.
So you’ve got this old, evolutionary system working in the opposite direction of where you want to be. Frustrating, right? With that said, we must spend time each day something a little better than we did previous days. This raises your self esteem and positive expectation for the future. Do you need to follow a low carb diet perfectly two weeks into the program? Absolutely, not. But this doesn’t mean you stop. You try to reach your particular goal everyday. Six months into this diet, guess what you’re likely to have more “good” days than “bad” days. Meaning, allow yourself slips. Allow yourself to be imperfect, but don’t ever stop trying to reach a peak performance day. You will have some, maybe even a lot eventually, if you spend the time continuously trying.
Self Reflect On Your Life and Practice Acceptance At What You Find
“Know thyself”. It’s a well known phrase that doesn’t get old with time. As we learn how to move through life and make the best decisions for ourselves, we must learn to look within. Asking ourselves the tough questions. Did I give my all? Did I make a good decision for myself and those around me? Did I stand up and maintain integrity? Are my motivations good or are they selfish? We ask ourselves questions like these to hold ourselves accountable to our values and beliefs.
We also ask ourselves these questions so that we can accept what we find when we get intimately acquainted with who we are. Self acceptance is only good enough for us when we’re aware and conscious of our decision making process and the actions we take. It’s easy to accept that we’re smart, good looking, highly accomplished, etc. It’s a lot harder to accept when we’ve been selfish, arrogant, or apathetic, etc. Look inside and accept all of you. The good and the bad. When we fully accept ourselves because we’re aware, we can be content and at peace with our lives and how we move through them. And if we’re truly uncomfortable with what we find, we can go back to tip #2, spend time doing better.
Self acceptance looks a lot like non-judgment of one’s self. It’s being kind to yourself despite your imperfections. It’s looking at yourself laid bare, feeling calm and self-assured that you’re growing and changing all the time and missteps are common. But mostly self acceptance is a supreme act of self love. #selflove #selfacceptance #patience #growing #transforming #positivity
Santee Blakey is a Life Coach and Licensed Massage Therapist at Soul Growth Wellness. When she's not biking, reading, or biking, or reading (she needs new hobbies, suggest her some:-), she'll be writing and enjoying a caramel frappacino in her favorite Starbucks. Follow her on Youtube for her series --> Self Acceptance: What It's Really Like (A Journey).
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