I was driving, in traffic and mumbling to myself about what I don’t even remember. But what I do remember is that I said something to myself like, “you aren’t supposed to do this life thing alone.” And it was like an explosion went off in my mind.
I’ll explain how I got here or why that explosion is important at all…
First though, I am an addict in recovery. I have been sober almost 4 years now and it is through various support groups that I have managed to maintain my recovery. Support groups aren't for everyone, but they work really well when you want to change yourself, but it's too scary to try it alone. It works really well when you want a peer group to help support you in becoming a better person. So I go to support groups regularly and in engage in 12 step work.
My life is much better because of it. I have a career, where before I didn’t know anything about anything. My relationships are vastly improved and my relationship with myself gets better and better everyday.
“you aren’t supposed to do this life thing alone.”
So after this short plug for peer support groups, here is why the sentence “you aren’t supposed to do this life thing alone,” is such an epiphany for me.
Life is friggin’ hard yall! Like you didn’t know, right? Seriously life can sometimes kick rocks and I say this as a happy (enough) person in recovery. But you know what’s harder? Trying to do life by yourself.
"In my drinking days, I made that mistake. I wanted to fix my drinking, my family, my partner, my broken-ness, the worlds problems, my financial woes and more all by myself."
Trying to fix your relationships. Trying to fix your health. Trying to fix your spouse or your children. Trying to fix You.
It’s hard, draining and truly a no-win scenario. What is far easier is recognizing that - life for all it’s joy’s, pains, triumphs, tears, and pleasures – is not supposed to be a lonesome, utterly independent experience.
In my drinking days, I made that mistake. I wanted to fix my drinking, my family, my partner, my broken-ness, the worlds problems, my financial woes and more all by myself. I didn’t want to consult, get advice, or get help. I didn’t want to burden anyone and I certainly didn’t want to be vulnerable or have anyone tell me something about my life.
I tried to do this life thing alone. And it was so bad, that I almost died and lost my mind.
We are human souls. We are not loners. We need each other. We need support.
I get support from my peer groups family, my coaching colleagues, friends, family, and mental health professionals, and my higher power. I get help now from a lot of sources because life isn’t supposed to be done alone. Ever.
This more than anything is why I do coaching, to help folks so you’re not lifing alone. It helps to have someone understand you, listen to you, and hold space for your emotions, ideas and longings. And then further aid you in taking the actions to living the life you want and are worthy of.
In the end; you don’t have to life alone. It’s miserable, really. You, nor I, nor others are designed for this western ethos of independence. We do much better together, than we do apart. Life coaching is a way for you and me to life together, grow together, and heal together.
"I get help now from a lot of sources because life isn’t supposed to be done alone. Ever."
If growth, being listened to, and building a present and future worthy of your light is what you’re after please schedule a discovery call and let’s see if we vibe. I would love to help you expand your self love and self care practice, for doing those two things truly makes a life worth living and appreciating.
Love and Light
-Santee
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