I’ve been a pretty vocal and political person in a past life, but as I grew and developed more insight into myself and the larger human condition it became clear to me that ‘sides’ is simply a dysfunction of the material mind. In the spiritual tradition, soul/spirit knows what is right. It is whole and unfragmented, it does not know division, only unity. Spirit/Soul is always and will always be one; not separate, not other, not superior, not inferior, not weak, not strong, not oppressor, not oppressed, but a unified one.
That being said, the material world is full of ‘us versus them’ and none more so than this current political, social, and spiritual development in the US right now. I am a black woman. I am more tired, than angry. I am more resigned, than enthused. I am more disappointed, than I am proud. But I am more hopeful, than I am hopeless. Unrest, disturbance, even straight carnage is about one thing; something is terribly wrong. In this case; ancient and deep set white privilege that justifies a blatant disrespect of life when the other person is black, ‘othered’, and considered deserving of severe violence. It’s been a problem since slavery, since emancipation, since Jim Crow, since the Civil Rights era, since Rodney King, since just yesterday.
But why am I hopeful now? Because more people see it, literally. There is documented footage of Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd being mistreated terribly and losing their lives because a white individual, civilians in the first case, cops in the second case decided that violently policing a black body was more important that cautious inquisitiveness, compassion, and handling a tense situation with emotional intelligence. Black people have been aware of this problem for years. Enlightened allies for a long time as well, but when even conservative commentators are disturbed by what they see, some type of communal light bulb has finally arrived.
However, the road is not paved smooth. Conservatives still view this as a ‘tragedy’ rather than evidence of systemic carelessness for the lives of Black Americans. They still feel that rioting and looting is ‘thugish’ and ‘criminal’ rather than an act of frustrated civil disobedience in the face of consistent and overwhelming evidence that people of color are more likely to die by cop than whites and that something is indeed amiss about that statistic. And that yes, someone needs to look into that, address it, and take responsibility for it because Black Americans are not putting knees on our own necks.
The road is also not paved smooth for us Black folk either. Our pain, our desperation, our anger, our feeling of helplessness is at an all time high. From Black Lives Matter activists, to everyday social justice warriors dealing with police reform and criminal justice reform, to celebrity athletes like Colin Kaepernick and Lebron James, it seems obvious to us: “We protest peacefully. We take a knee. We speak out on our platforms. We testify at congressional hearings. We call our congressmen. And yet we still get violently treated when we’re asking for the same legal protections provided for in our constitution, federal, and state laws get applied to us with equal reciprocity as to our white counterparts. What gives??!!!!”
So we act out, rather extremely at times. Some call it immaturity. Some call it a righteous act. While I call it, “an explosion of collective pain, without relief.” That level of psychic grief is hard to rationally grapple with. Are we hurting others, innocents? Yes. Are we hurting ourselves? Yes? Are we hurting our cause? Yes and no. Yes because it’s hard to negotiate with what looks like terrorism. No because extreme civil unrest is often prelude to change when the stakes are high enough. And change, make no mistake, is what we’re after.
In America some whites rationalize away grievous misconduct so as to not feel uncomfortable and take some responsibility for the racial disharmony in this country. And some Black folk are so aware of every intonation, raised eyebrow, and microaggression that we’re effectively paranoid and cause ourselves some grief (although not unwarranted, we can’t even be in Starbucks without trouble.) So what needs to change? Everything about how we treat one another.
Without writing a several thousand page non-fiction book on the human condition, as I mentioned in the beginning of this essay, humans have a big ‘us versus them’ problem on our hands. From protests in Hong Kong and France, civil war in Syria, political instability in Venezuela and countless other small, medium, and large interpersonal conflicts in dozens of countries around the world, conflict is in season. And for good reason, power to influence the quality of our lives always seems to reside in someone else’s hands. Presidents, dictators, oligarchic elites, military, police, to some groups in a country having access to more power than others, like pervasive white privilege in the US. We don’t seem to know how to negotiate peacefully with each other. Regardless of what side you are on, there is a glaring lack of empathy and respect of the opposition.
Why empathize with and respect an oppressor? Why empathize with and respect riotous protestors? To understand each other and create a path to peace. If we can’t understand and respect each other, we can’t even begin to negotiate and meet each other’s needs. This is relationship Psychology 101. In my business of coaching and wellness, I constantly need to help people self reflect and find their personal responsibility in a problematic situation. But I also need to help them build the skills to practice empathetic emotional intelligence to better deal with those interact with, ranging from family to strangers. And simply put we all need these skills right now, this instant.
Spirit/Soul knows this lack of respect for Black bodies and Black lives is wrong. That this never ending conflict between the enfranchised and disenfranchised needs to end and indeed the Spirit/Soul knows that it can end, it’s why people tirelessly fight for justice. But we’re also dense, hard headed, human beings and the skills that lead to intuitive spiritual growth start with basic psychological skills like emotional intelligence, empathy, and respect. The time is nigh to look within and take personal responsibility as an oppressor and the oppressed. To look within and take the road of humane and compassionate interaction with others because when in a state of real oneness you recognize that my hurt is your hurt and we do a better job of surviving, living, and thriving when we heal our traumas together. Namaste.
#racism #blacklivesmatter #killingblackbodies #thesoul #thespirit #oneness #weareallone #healing #grouptrauma #blackversuswhite #georgefloyd #ahmaudarbery #violence #perpetuatingthecycle #empathy #respect #emotionalintelligence #breakthecycle #bigchange #love
Santee Blakey is a Life Coach and Licensed Massage Therapist at Soul Growth Wellness. When she's not biking, reading, or biking, or reading (she needs new hobbies, suggest her some:-), she'll be writing and enjoying a caramel frappacino in her favorite Starbucks (this is obviously pre-Covid) *sigh*. Follow her on Youtube for her series --> Self Acceptance: What It's Really Like (A Journey).
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